I met Jakia at her first duty station. When we were first introduced, her and “SJ” were in a relationship (but not married). Eventually, I got to know “SJ” after they got married. Kia and I grew closer over the years, so I accepted her husband. But, after they moved to Florida, I learned about their marital issues. I am an understanding and caring person, so I listened to “SJ” as he begged and pleaded with me to advocate on his behalf. I reasoned with Kia, to see if she could resolve their issues and stay together. Kia agreed, and I regret that decision every day!
Later, I learned about the abuse Kia endured both physically and mentally. It makes me sick to my stomach that I advocated for her abuser. I apologize often for trying to convince her to stay with her abuser and I regret it almost daily. I see Jakia as a little sister that I have to protect, and I felt like I failed at doing that. I had no idea what she was going through, and I wished that she informed me sooner. I understand she did not want to paint “SJ” as a bad guy, since she is a caring person, but this is one of those times I wish she would have reached out for support. I am happy that Jakia and “Reign” are in a better situation now!