WAR AT HOME
What’s Being Said about War at Home
Anne V. (DoD Employee)
Mrs. Lindley is brutally and fearlessly honest in her new book, War at Home. While you can feel her pain and will most definitely cry with her—but you also cheer her on, as you sense her desire to rise above the ugliness of her circumstances. Parts of the chapter in which she describes her first experiences in the Air Force are laugh-out-loud funny, but you can also see her becoming the serious and determined person she wants to be in her career.
The most important aspect of this book, however, is Jakia’s ability to illustrate through her experiences that although you may be bruised, you aren’t necessarily broken. Every day people can find some parallel to her story. I recommend this book. The clarity and proficiency in which Jakia’s story is written will surely make it a great read for any book club.
Dr. Kang, Hyungbum, LCSW
War at Home is not a story of common battles, but instead a spiritual heroine’s journey and tale to help people win their own battles in life. This book is something that you’ll want to give to your precious ones as a gift. It’s a story about how to maintain your values, despite the harsh challenges we experience every day.
About The Book
How many active-duty service personnel show up each day to serve this country, but, instead of appreciation, they endure hazing, sexual harassment, and abuse? How many take their own lives, unable to find relief from ongoing, uninvited abuse from within their branch of service? How many service members struggle with mental health issues?
Trauma from abuse can crush your spirit unless you confront your enemies. After years of stuffing her emotions, putting on a happy face, and enduring hardship like a good airman, Jakia Lindley realized she needed to stand toe-to-toe against her foes. She needed to fight back.
War at Home is a candid, vulnerable account of the way the sexual, misogynistic, and racist violence of the military seeped through Jakia’s entire life. As a woman serving in the military, Jakia faced discrimination, harassment, and abuse from those in power, and, as a woman of color, she was met with outright racism. In this raw, inspiring memoir, Jakia’s retelling of the wars she’s been through proves that fighting back and healing starts with something as seemingly small as standing up for ourselves.
As an advocate, Jakia adds her voice to the hundreds and thousands of silent voices that have served or are still serving in the U.S. Armed Forces. It is time to hold space and listen to our brothers – and sister-in-arms that may be afraid of speaking up due to the fear of retaliation and who may still be struggling to find their way out of the storm.
You are invited to read a Free Chapter of WAR AT HOME simply by inquiring below.
Free Downloadable Resources From the Book
War at Home is not just a book. It is the beginning of a movement. Help raise awareness and initiate change.
- Discover exclusive stories, facts and pictures that weren’t included in the book;
- Share your own story of survival with Jakia;
- Get updates on Jakia’s Activism activities and news about the book;
- Learn how to join the movement and be an agent of change
I would just like to say that I am a survivor of domestic violence and harassment that exacerbated my PTSD. My unit sought to discredit and dismiss my trauma. I sought mental health and they worked in tandem with my unit to perpetuate that I was suffering from a personality disorder and had me disqualified from service. I was seven years from retirement.
This book, I hope, will inspire more people to come forward and be heard and not beat down!!!
Anonymous (United States Air Force)
I joined, the United States Air Force, three years ago with the intention of staying in for a full 20 or more years. Graduating from Basic Training, I was so excited to begin my journey and to see what I could learn about myself and the others around me. Within my first two weeks of my technical training, I was sexually harassed and assaulted. I blamed myself for what happened. I confided in a good friend that I trusted, and he was able to talk to the person and ask them to stay away. That was all I wanted.
However, a third party found out and reported my situation. I was called out of class by my chain of command and forced to talk about what had happened, even though I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. I was placed in what looked like an interrogation room and asked repeatedly to talk about what happened. I did not remember many of the details, and I still don’t to this day. I sought out help from mental health, and eventually was placed on medication. My case was handled incorrectly from the start, with SAPR sending me to EO, and there never having been an official report filed. I was never offered the support I needed.
Almost three years later, I am living in a constant state of fear. I am afraid to go to the store alone or to even go for a walk. I want people to know that they are not handling cases the way they need to be handled. People are getting brushed off and ignored. Something needs to change.
I met Jakia at her first duty station. When we were first introduced, her and “SJ” were in a relationship (but not married). Eventually, I got to know “SJ” after they got married. Kia and I grew closer over the years, so I accepted her husband. But, after they moved to Florida, I learned about their marital issues. I am an understanding and caring person, so I listened to “SJ” as he begged and pleaded with me to advocate on his behalf. I reasoned with Kia, to see if she could resolve their issues and stay together. Kia agreed, and I regret that decision every day!
Later, I learned about the abuse Kia endured both physically and mentally. It makes me sick to my stomach that I advocated for her abuser. I apologize often for trying to convince her to stay with her abuser and I regret it almost daily. I see Jakia as a little sister that I have to protect, and I felt like I failed at doing that. I had no idea what she was going through, and I wished that she informed me sooner. I understand she did not want to paint “SJ” as a bad guy, since she is a caring person, but this is one of those times I wish she would have reached out for support. I am happy that Jakia and “Reign” are in a better situation now!
Henry C. (Retired Technical Sergeant, United States Air Force Veteran)
I never should have joined the Air Force and much of my military career is a regret for me. There’s so much I could have done differently, and that time holds some of the darkest moments of my life.
I partied excessively hard. I don’t enjoy drinking but used it as an escape. I drank because I was hurting, and alcohol helped me to temporarily forget. I fell into depression, never sought counseling, and I thought about hurting myself. While on terminal leave, I woke up and realized that everything around me was an illusion. I did not go to counseling because if I did, I knew how people were going to treat me. Now that I’m a happy and HEALTHY man, I can say this: Being in the military, you do not know what somebody is going through. You will be led to believe that it is just a part of the day-to-day. That is the culture, it’s unhealthy.
Scott C. (United States Air Force Veteran)
You were the prime example of why I did not want to go to counseling. You spoke up and they isolated you. For me, it turned out the people who I thought were fighting for me ended up contributed to me getting kicked out. I want you to know, that I was in the same spot as you, but experiencing different circumstances. Things turned around for me when I first met my wife … she saved me. In return, I honestly, thought your “ex” saved you.
If anyone is reading this book and considering joining the military, know that Kia is trying to change the culture. Be patient. People are starting to be aware. Please do not hesitate to seek help. Keep fighting. You got this!
Anonymous (United States Navy Veteran)
When I was getting out of the military, people told me, “You’re gonna be flipping burgers and you’ll turn into a deadbeat wife and mother.” Now I make over $70k a year and recently got my real estate license. I am happily married and can proudly say I am a great mother and celebrating my sixth-year anniversary. I am currently in therapy for the trauma I endured while serving (constant bullying and sexual harassment). I made a complete 180-degree shift, and I never want to be in that mindframe again.